LA BIBLIA
My Bible has notes in it, highlighter covering it's pages, pink Post-Its marking my favorite passages, writing within it's lines, circled phrases and words, and letters stuck in between the pages written by me, to me, my future husband, children... I lost my Bible a day after I got here. I can't stand it. I feel like I lost a puppy or something. Something that I really love, and it's making me sick. I have been everywhere with that Bible and that Bible has gone through everything with me. A few days ago I was sitting on the floor of my room, praying for my Bible, and I realized something terrifying: I was probably more upset about losing my Bible than I was when I lost sight of God. So that isn't really right, then, is it? I asked Him, "Okay, God, I believe you can help me find my Bible, but I had this revelation and maybe you're telling me I shouldn't find that Bible.""Kellie, I want you to realize that you can know Me without your Bible. Always."
"Oh, okay, well... what do I do?"
"Follow me and I will lead you." That's God's answer for pretty much every question that I ask Him (that I already know the answer to). He's said that to me since I experienced a vision from him in the 9th Grade. So I followed Him to my knees and it was good. It was close. Purposeful. Today we were talking again and I asked Him, "So if you want me to get to know You, then what's something you want me to know about you?"
"I Am true. Everything that I do and say is true."
"What does that mean, really?"
"Since I never lie, everything I have said to you in My Word is true. Every promise I give you, I will keep - every time I tell you of My love, I mean it. Everything I say about you is truthful; you are beautiful, wonderful, talented, exciting, and perfect because I made it so. With the blood of My Son you are righteous and blameless like a newborn child. I know this because I am true."
"Thank you, God... You're really great." So maybe that's why I didn't need my Bible at that moment. Because hearing those words for myself rather than reading them off a page meant more to me, by far, than any words I've ever heard.
WEDNESDAY HAPPENED
Nothing to report. Really. Nothing. I watched some shows and read a bit today. Took a nap. I guess it was nice to have a restful day.DESSERT
The food here is truly amazing. Incredible. Really, it's the most delicious. After a leisurely morning of toast for breakfast, watching Downton Abbey, reading, and working out, I walked down to have lunch with the team and was greeted by a delicious bowl of the best Penne Pasta I've ever had. And garlic pita bread, of course. After the entree, we welcomed another guest named Guava Cheesecake with a three-sauce design and raspberry sorbet on the side. Which, of course, gave me enough energy to play all day with small children and give a voice lesson to Bethany. I've always known that life is too short, but today I REALLY had revelation in my heart: life is far too short not to eat ridiculously delicious food - and have seconds.FOGATA
While the team was here painting and working at the orphanage there was another team that traveled around to a few cities in Guatemala all this week doing medical clinics. Their last stop was Chimaltenango, out of Casa Angelina. The line of people who came here from the city was so long that we couldn't see the end of it past the curve in the road. The clinic started at 12:00, but since the team had arrived at 10:00 we had a service with everyone. After worship, the service consisted of a few of the teenage orphans giving their testimonies. It's strange that I have been spending so much time with girls like Sonya and Lucia and Gabby, and never really think about where they've come from. At the service I learned that they were raped or beaten, tossed out by their parents, didn't have parents because their mom died of AIDs of their dad drank himself to death. These girls are some of the sweetest, most selfless people I know and this is where they came from: complete brokenness, being told that they are worthy of absolutely nothing. It's astonishing to see their capacity to give love after such tragic events, and I realize in that moment what a judgmental and selfish person I can be. Something that needs to change. After the service Sonya and I spent the day giving out clothes, toys, and toiletries at the door of the clinic, giving anyone who was leaving whatever they looked like they needed the most. Around 4:00 there was a "fogata," a bonfire. There was only one person who could come from the medical team since they were so busy. His name was Mike. He was a really nice guy, and it was refreshing to have a real-life conversation with an American other than the Frazer family. At the bonfire, we made S'mores, which they call Angelitos (little angels, and rightfully named so). Since today is the start of the kids' break, Semana Santo - Holy Week, we had a lot of kids over in the evening to Hospitality House to watch a movie. Sometimes it's impossible to imagine these children on the streets or starving, with bruises and stains, when all I can see every day are their bright smiles and personalities. A little perspective never hurt anyone.SATURDAY HAPPENED
Since there was no team, and not much to do for Señorita Monica, I had a day of rest. Reading, sleeping, catching up after a long and exhausting week! This wonderful show that I've been watching is called Downton Abbey, and I love it. It's the best. I finished Seasons 1 & 2 in about a week, and probably could have cut that time in half had the team not been here. I love it. Watch it, if you want something really, really good to take up all of your free time. Since it was Saturday, there was Youth Group (Jovenes) and I realized something there that I liked: I can understand complete sermons in another language. I can understand the entire thing. I love that. After Jovenes, some kids came over to watch Mission Impossible 4, which had just as many explosions and fights as the first three.CANTANTES
There is a church down the road that does all of the worship and sermons over loudspeaker. Which is great. I actually really love it. Picture this: a small room painted a peachy orange with cracks in the walls and yellow patches where the paint has faded. The big windows are open, wind lightly blowing the curtains toward the center of the room. The heated and golden-orange light is pouring in like rain, lighting everything that it touches with a golden halo, making it seem like a dream or a warm memory. The birds sing and talk back and forth to each other while a wind chime tickles it's tinkering talk into the airwaves. From very far away there is an echo, two voices coincide in not-so-perfect harmony that is not always simultaneous, singing a song whose words cannot be deciphered from a place so far down the road. The sound is beautiful and the air surrounding is full of something sweet like laughter or the way it feels to climb a tree in the summer or run down the street to meet the ice cream truck. Everything is serene. There is nothing more beautiful for me than the perfection, the purity of a moment like that. I soak it in through every pore in my body. I think I'm in love with Guatemala.THE HARSH REALITY
After being held down by five or six five-or-six-year-olds, and then attacked by the garden hose which completely soaked me, I went inside and changed. Then I ran quickly across the street not to be stopped by little children plotting to re-wet my new clothes. I went to the Frazers to play Settlers of Catan with Bethany and Co., and found instead that she was on the phone talking with someone. The phone call ended after a while and I found out what was going on...A 13-year-old girl was raped by her step-father. Consequently, she became pregnant and had a child. The two of them are coming to live here for the rest of their childhood. Mother and child. Both children. It's scary, and tragic that something like that would happen to a sweet girl who is barely a teenager. The harsh reality is that she is one of the lucky ones; she didn't die, and she's getting away from that man. Many children don't have that kind of luck here. She's now also a part of the even smaller group of lucky children that get to come live at Casa Angelina. There are around 70 kids at the orphanage, and there are so many who have come from that life and come from other orphanages where they would have rather died than live through another day of the torture and abuse they received. As I write this I feel a combination of sickness and terrible helplessness and honestly, with tears in my eyes, I am thanking GOD for delivering the children that are here from where they were. God is using this place to change lives, to soften hearts, to build trust and love and blessings for these children. I am sure that each and every one of their lives are going to be blessed, going to be influential and change the world, I mean REALLY change the world, because they have been here at Casa Angelina where love changes everything.
WATER WEEK
Since my being hosed down, I have also received buckets of water dumped on me, more hose business, water balloons, and the like. I figured since I couldn't stop it from happening I might just join everyone in the water festivities. I got in the pool today, and tried not to swallow any water or freeze. It ended up being really fun, but I did get a wicked sunburn. (Oops.) At 3:30 there was a women's book club meeting, which was very fun. I sat by one of the tutors, Magda, who is hilarious. Everything was grand until it was my turn to share what I like about the book in front of the whole group.. in Spanish. Now, having a conversation with one or two people is VERY different than doing a presentation to a group of Spanish-speaking Guatemalans. Somehow, through my nerves and pounding heart, I was able to make some sort of sense of what I liked about the book. The strawberry tea afterwards was a great reward. Later on in the day, Sonya and Lucia came over to watch Hugo and Lucia braided my hair the way I had it over the summer, which I love. Lucia is a girl, laughing and braiding my hair, having one of the brightest lights I've ever seen in her soul, who has come from some really dark places in her past. A lot of hard things happened to her. Our world is dark and tried really hard to put out that light... but God is stronger. God is bigger. God is better. God can light up even the darkest of places.COLEGIO & GENESIS
Next week I start teaching at the school! I'll do some piano classes and two choirs. After school I'll give private lessons to some girls in particular. I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to do this, of course, but I'm sure it will come together somehow. If I have my translator at my side always. Yes. Here we go. I had a meeting with Bethany about Phase 2 of my internship. The teaching at the school and also moving into Genesis House where the teenage girls live. At first I wasn't so excited to be doing this... I've really been enjoying having my own space and everything. But after the meeting I'm more excited than ever to move in and get to work with these girls. Apparently they're struggling with the same thing that any group of teenage girls struggles with - division in the house! The "She Doesn't Like Me, and I Don't Like Her" Complex. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY HANDS INTO THAT MESS! They will all be friends, so help me God! I have a ton of ideas to make this happen, one of which is to host a retreat for all of the teenage girls and force them to be vulnerable, trust each other, open up, have fun with unlikely friends, etc. Millions of ideas resurfacing from my Student Council and Life 101 "respect acceptance empowerment teamwork" days. Love it. I worked on music for a few hours after my meeting and then went to another meeting for the teenage helpers here. After that I played with a 3-year-old named Karen for about an hour. She didn't get tired... I thought that I was going to pass out. Where does the energy come from?!? After that I played my guitar with Louis, Ronald, and a group of girls outside under the stars... and also got eaten alive by mosquitoes. I have 7 mosquito bites on my right arm and 5 on my left. How is that possible? I don't know. I guess I just have delicious blood.That's all for now! Thank you so much, everyone, for your prayers and thoughts and support. You don't know how much it means to me! I miss you and I love you all.
Love, Kellie
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