UPDATE #5

Well, Update #5 is definitely late! I've been aiming to do posts on Wednesdays but it's Saturday today and I am just now getting around to this week's news. When you read it you will understand why...

PRAYER AND PETITION

For three days, I stay pretty locked up in the Hospitality House. Reading books, watching movies, working out, playing the guitar and worshipping, kneeling on the red shag rug and praying - praying for myself and for everything else in the world. Praying that my friend's death would be the start of something incredible in Colorado - an unforgettable upheaval of Christians who simply want to pursue the Lord and trust in Him, who want to have unrepressed joy because of the love and the hope of the Father and His Son. WE ARE the righteousness of God, WE ARE co-heirs with Jesus Christ, WE ARE loved and WE ARE going to make a difference in the kingdom. I'm praying that we would believe it. I'm praying that there would be a visible difference in each and every heart. being a child of God is not something ordinary. We can't continue to sit back and treat it like it's an ordinary gift or an ordinary daily activity. Being a child of God is literally the difference between heaven and hell, the difference between joy and des[air, the difference between health and sickness. We cannot just sit back and carry on in our own lives, knowing that all is good for us, when all around us there are people sinking in oceans of sin, not realizing that the Love of the God that they deny is the lifesaver. We have to sail our own ships away from the harbor and into the storm and start making a difference to the people who are drowning. God is extraordinary and with Him, we are capable of extraordinary things. To stay in that harbor and pretend like nothing is happening... I can't imagine a bigger waste of time. A bigger waste of God's love. Jesus said he didn't come for those who were healthy, but for the sick. We are saved, we are clean, but that should not be the end of our story. The power and love and mercy of God is released when we SHARE salvation. Once we are saved, salvation is not just for us, but for everyone who passes through merely our shadows. My testimony is not that I was so lost and it is not all of the horrible things that I did or experienced before receiving forgiveness and salvation. No, my testimony is the part where Jesus died for me so that I could proceed to do wonderous and incredible things in Him, so that I could further the kingdom and see other people be saved. This is the revival that I'm praying for. Ryan's mom, Gail, is writting a blog right now about her son. It's called "To Make It Worth The Pain" and it's called that because she wants her son's death to be worth something - to be worth the pain that is going to be present. If her son's death didn't change anything, didn't mean anything to anyone, then it was a waste. I believe that it is going to be worth the pain... I can feel something coming that is bigger than I can imagine. God makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him. It's the Truth.
**If you want to read her blog, visit www.tomakeitworththepain.blogspot.com It's worth your time.**


SOAKING IT IN

 On Thursday I enjoy the alone time while Monica is at school, and try to soak it in as much as possible. In just a few days I will be living with 12 other girls. So that's insane. Any alone time that I get right now is going to be some of the last, since space and solitude will likely be limited there. On Friday I go to school myself and teach little kids to clap and dance with them. They really love the dancing. Even though I don't feel like I'm doing much when I'm home, the hours are flying by. On Friday night I go to the workout session and afterward go and chat with Yuri and Nidia about moving on Sunday - I need a bed... I need a closet... I need to pack up all of my things... I need a therapist, probably. I am admitting that I am fairly terrified of this move; I've never shared a room with one other person, much less TWO people, in my entire life, and I have really been enjoying my alone time, which on Sunday will completely disappear. I'm still mourning the loss of a close friend, I am in a different country where no one knows my culture or my language, there are no Americans even HERE right now, nowhere to escape to... I think I'm actually going to go insane. But God is bigger, God is bigger. I have to keep remembering that. God can do this even though I can't, so I just need to let God help me. On Saturday, I finally FINALLY got the chance to Skype by other best friend, Courtney. It was such a relief to talk to her and it gave me so much more strength. We talked for almost two hours on Skype and laughed and caught up and all of the things that best friends do. Without her and Maggie, I don't know where my life would be at. Probably my life would be down some dark alley in the hands of shady people. (No, probably not, but I'm sure that I wouldn't be nearly as blessed without the two of them.) Anyway, after that conversation I felt a little bit more prepared for the huge change and happy that I finally got to see her face. I made pancakes on Saturday, and Monica and I watched most of the new Footloose, until she changed the channel to soccer at which point all of the people came to watch the Barcelona game and I retreated to my room to pray and worship. At night we walked to the Mondal's House for Jovenes (Youth Group) and after the sermon we played those fun dancing games on the Kinnect, which is like a Wii except you don't even have to have a remote. Technology... man. I got home and packed on Saturday night, feeling like I was maybe a little bit more ready for this move.

NOT

NOT READY!! NOT READY!!
I felt like Sunday was some rotten kid that I wouldn't have gotten along with on the playground. Like Sunday and I were playing Hide and Seek and I was still trying to find a place to hide, when Sunday came running after me saying "Ready or not, here I come!" And then I start crying because, "Hey, Sunday, that's really not fair! I didn't even get a chance to hide yet!" But unfortunately, in this world - where Sunday is a day of the week, not a bully, and I am an adult, not a small child - there is no magical teacher to run to and tattle about Sunday not playing nicely. And it was time to move. So people came in and out all day taking my packed-up things and dragging them to Genesis House while I emptied all of the trashcans, cleaned the bathroom, the counters, the kitchen, the dishes, and emptied the refridgerator, sweeping and mopping the floors along the way. I probably cleaned for a lot longer than I needed to, because I was trying to delay the inevitable. But that's the thing about the inevitable... it's still gonna happen no matter how long you delay it. 
Around 3:00 Monica and I agreed that it was time to go. So we went. Once I got to Genesis, there were 6 people in my room the entire time that I was unpacking. I knew that this would be hard. I've never shared space like this before, never had so many people around all the time. But I can handle this. Can't I? After a while everyone leaves and I am alone in my room. I'm trying to arrange my things and make space, which happens after re-arranging everything about 4 times and rolling up all of my t-shirts into long paper-towel sized rolls that I can stack on top of each other. I turn my big red suitcase onto it's side and make it into a bedside table so that I can stack up my journal and computer and nook and things really close to me. This definitely sounds juvenille, but I'm really glad that I brought my stuffed animals... Honey the Bear and Edmond the Monster (which Courtney made for me for Christmas) have turned out to be the small comforts that get me through the hard nights and rough days. I sit on my bed and hold them for a little while, while I pray to God. "God, give me what that I don't have... give me the strength, the patience, the will, to do this. I don't have that in me, but You do. I'm going to need you to help me out."

JESUS CALLING

I picked up this new book called Jesus Calling. At first, my grandpa Poppie left a Facebook comment saying that he was reading it. Then, my friend Shyanne said that Ryan (our friend who just died) had given her the book Jesus Calling a week before he died. Then my friend's mom, Mrs. Shonts, said that I should really look into this book called Jesus Calling. So if that's not "Jesus calling" then I don't know what is. So, I got the book and it has been incredibly spot on - almost every single day it is telling me something relevant about my life. There have been actually unreal and miraculous revelations given to me through this book - it's actually like God is talking straight to me. Sunday the 15th was the day that I moved, so I picked up my book shortly after my conversation with God. He responded through the words inside the book.


"APRIL 15
TRUST ME, and don't be afraid. Many things feel out of control. Your routines are not running smoothly. You tend to feel more secure when your life is predictable. Let me lead you to the rock that is higher than you and your circumstances. Take refuge in the shelter of my wings, where you are absolutely secure. When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip my hand even more tightly and look for opportunities to grow. Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new. I lead you from glory to glory, making you fit for My kindgdom. Say yes to the ways that I want to work in your life. Trust me, and don't be afraid."


You can't make stuff like that up. My mouth pretty much fell open... God talks to me. God TALKS to us. Just, one more time, I need to say this. God, the Creator of heaven and earth, water and fire, heat and light, bugs and flowers and everything that is good; God, the King of everything who has won the ultimate battle against hell and bought us eternal life with the blood of his Son, Jesus; God, who knows everything that has happened and that will happen, who knows and forgives all of my sins... He talks to us. In very close and personal ways. Hard to comprehend sometimes, but what a beautiful thing we have with God. He is Almighty; so big, yet so intimate.

CULTURE SHOCK

On Monday, I woke up with a sore throat. I went to school and played with the kids and everything, which was fine. When I came home I felt strangely exhausted and took it easy for the rest of the evening until workout. Then, on Tuesday, I woke up with a very sore throat and some mega-congestion. I stayed in bed until my high school class which starts at 11:45, and tried to make it through the class without talking a ton. When everyone came home from school I was able to hang out a little bit more with the girls. By about 3:00 I started to feel better and decided to go hang out outside with Sonya, Lucia, and a few other girls. Sonya did my hair for a while. We found out that Nidia and Monica and Lucia were going into town, so I ran into my house and got some money to give to them so that they could bring me a few things, including chocolates and little paper bags that I was going to use. As soon as I came back outside I gave them the money and sat down at Sonya's feet, with my computer. It had taken 2 minutes for something to happen to my laptop... because when I went inside it was fine. But now it wouldn't turn on. Actually, at the time I didn't think much of it and just thought that maybe it was tired or got shut off or was out of battery. However, the next day, I found out that it was actually more broken than I realized. It freezes up every few minutes and I have to completely shut it down just to make it work every time. What a pain. That night I made a cake with Julia and Lucy, who are sisters and both adorable. I actually had a lot of fun and some more energy, which I attributed to the cup of coffee I made in the afternoon. I didn't make it to workouts, since I was so busy making a delicious cake... but I didn't mind. But then Wednesday came. I didn't go to school on Wednesday because I woke up very sick, very sore. I had had a fever in the early morning but only for a little while. Still, I didn't want to get any little kids, ninos, sick. So I stayed in bed and just took it easy all day, drinking tea and relaxing. I actually called my dad, and we talked for a while about some things... he told me that he had learned something from Corie's anthropology class; that sometimes if you have culture shock it manifests in a physical illness. That made a lot of sense to me, since I only started getting sick after I moved to Genesis. I think that my body is just tired from undergoing so much change in just one month... Tuesday, actually, marks one month of my being in Guatemala. So in the last month I've moved to another country where I was immediately the care-taker of a handicapped girl, changed my diet completely, been around tons and tons of little kids constantly, moved from a small apartment to a house full of 13 girls, and everything that has happened in between there. Lots of changes. Anyway, I didn't go to school again on Thursday because I couldn't speak very well because of my throat and massive headache. So I actually borrowed the keys to Bethany and Andrews house so that I could use a functioning computer to type up and translate some documents for Yuri. I did this and ended up hanging out there all morning, very much appreciating the time I had away from everyone. The power shut off at 3:30, which was great timing since I had to go to Genesis at 3:30 anyway for time with the girls.

FIRST AND AMISTAD

When I was in high school, I was in Student Council and Life 101, Eyes Wide Open, clubs and activities and all of these things that were about loving yourself and loving others and spreading love and awareness, etc. As a result I learned a lot of activities or small things that are ice-breakers or that force people to be nice to each other. I wanted to use these tactics in Casa Genesis, to start making bridges over the great divide in the house. There are these things called AARF notes that were used pretty frequently in these clubs. AARF stands for Achievement, Appreciation, Respect, and Freedom. I couldn't really explain it that way in Spanish, but the notes could still be valuable. So instead I bought the paper bags and decorated a bag for each girl. I call them "Bolsas de Bondad" which means "Bags of Goodness". I put a note inside each bag explaining how the bag worked and that they were to share at least one note every day with a different girl that said something about that girl like "I appreciate your friendship" or "Your strength is amazing", "I love your smile and think you're so pretty" etc. On Thursday I hid the bags around the house and once all the girls had arrived and gathered outside the door to the house, I told them to go find their bag. They all found their bags and a piece of chocolate. Then when they were all seated at the very large kitchen table, I told them to read their note. Some girls were excited, but some seemed seriously annoyed. You see, from 3:30 to 5, it is mandatory that everyone spends time together. I don't know if I made any more friends with my bags of goodness. We'll see how that turns out, I guess. After that, we played the game that is called Mafia in the U.S. Here we call it Hacecino, which means murderer. It's actually a really fun mystery game where there's a murderer, doctor, police, and everyone else is the jury, and the jury has to find out who is the murderer - meanwhile, people are slowly dying off and the doctor has to try to guess who to save next, the police have to try to find out who to investigate, etc. They seemed to really like it, so maybe that helped patch up any annoyance that was remaining at my Bolsa de Bondad efforts. The bags are now hanging up next to the kitchen table. We'll see if anyone even writes any notes. God, help me.

PARASITOS

If Americans drink the water here they get really sick. In fact, you can't even brush your teeth from the faucet. You have to be extremely careful in the shower. You can't soak in the water or be in the rain for too long. Moreover, you have to disinfect all fruits and vegetables before you eat them and can't let even rain water touch your food if you're outside or something. I have to wait until all of the dishes are completely dried off to use them. It's kind of a hassle, but I have done an amazing job not letting that water get into my system. But I guess it didn't actually matter too much.
On Thursday night, or I guess I should say Friday morning, I woke up at 1:30 AM feeling really, really awful. It was one of those things where I thought that if I threw up I would feel better, so after about half an hour I walked into the bathroom and tried to get something out of my system. What I didn't know was that I was going to be awake for the next 5 hours, trying desperately to STOP throwing up, longing to sleep. It wasn't even the vomitting that was really terrible - it was the pain. I have not ever experienced stomach pains like that. There was no comfortable position and everything hurt. It honestly hurt so bad that I thought at one point, "I might actually be dying. I think I might die tonight. What if something is malfunctioning inside of me? I could actually die." Which by then wasn't even scary, because it was just so painful. Every 15-20 mintues I ran back to the bathroom until finally around 4:00 I stopped walking back to bed and just slept sitting up on the shower step. I found out that it was easier to sleep sitting straight up like that, so around 5:00 I went back to my bed, wrapped myself in blankets, and slept sitting up on the edge of my bed. This made it easier to get to the bathroom more quickly. Magda, one of my new roommates, woke up frequently throughout the night to check on me, ask if I was still throwing up and check my temperature for a fever. But there was nothing that anyone could do anyway. I remember strange waking moments that were quickly overcome by sleep... like how at 6:30 I was sitting on the side of my bed, half-sleeping, and one of the girls walked in. I felt drugged, I was so tired. I saw her briefly before my eyes shut again. At some point, Nidia walked in with two of the little girls. I opened my eyes but they shut quickly, like a trap door... Everything was really a blur after about 5:00, but I did realize at some point that the sharp and screaming gunshot pain in my stomach had subsided to only a searing hot ache and I was actually able to lay down. I don't remember when it was that I rested my head on that pillow. At 9:45 in the morning I woke up and chatted with my mom for only a couple of minutes before sleep overtook me again. It was almost 12 before I woke up again. I think I heard a few people come in and out of the room during that time but I don't remember. Around 1:30 I went to the doctor and she poked around, hurting my stomach with her pushing, and then she diagnosed me... Parasites. Lovely. I have about 8 different medicines to take now. For basically the rest of the day I sat in bed and watched movies or slept, aside from about an hour of time when I met with Yuri to come up with a better school schedule. I just hope that I am actually able to go to school by Monday. For now, I am able to eat corn tortillas and soup with whole cloves of garlic... and bananas. So I can eat carbs and not work out and sit in bed. That's great.
Curse you, parasites.
REMIDER, KELLIE: THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

That's all I've got for this update... Everything this week has really been a blur of stress and sickness! Let's hope that next week's update will find me out of the house more often and having a bit more fun. I love and miss you all! Feeling so crummy has made me want to come home a little bit, but I know that I will see you soon anyway and as soon as all of this junk is over, I'll really start having fun! You know how I know? Because God wants me to be healthy and to have more than just learning experiences here - He wants me to have fun, too. So I will - I believe that and receive all of the blessings that He has in store for me, including the ones where I'm just having fun and enjoying myself here at Casa Angelina. AMEN.
Promise, I'll be better soon.

xoxo
Kellie